*BACON* Mold on Campus May Be Linked to Zombie Behavior in Students

Aurora Bullett, Staff Writer

Disclaimer: The Bacon is the April Fool’s Edition of The Beacon. The following story is purely for entertainment and is NOT meant to be taken as a serious news story!

It has been over a year since Mark Hopkins was closed down for mold related repairs, but its effects on the MCLA community are far from over. Since the building was reopened there have been frequent complaints by students and faculty alike about an odd smell. Many have reported that the smell is worse on the upper floors especially in the damp bathrooms and closets which have poor ventilation and little to no natural lighting.

The condition of Mark Hopkins has only gotten worse in the past few weeks. Students returning from Spring Break have reported seeing an odd glowing purple colored mold dripping down from the ceilings in some second floor rooms. Despite several students admitting that they have seen the purple substance, members of the MCLA maintenance crew have denied seeing anything out of the ordinary in Mark Hopkins.

The smell and purple slime are not the only unusual occurrences in Mark Hopkins as of late. Recently there have been a few students spotted hanging out around the building after nightfall. No one has been able to provide the identities of these students however as they act aggressively towards anyone who gets close to them.

A student who wishes to remain anonymous, described a run in with this group of students. They said, “So right after we got back from break my buddy and I were in the Mark Hopkins bathroom and we noticed this weird purple goo on the wall. I dared him to touch it and he did. Nothing happened to him so we didn’t really think much of it at the time. He washed his hands then we left. I didn’t think about it again until a few days later. My friend showed up to class and he looked sick or something. Like he had these dark circles under his eyes and he was all pale and weak. I tried to ask him how he was doing but he just brushed me off, which is so not like him.”

“That night I was walking back to my dorm after a quick run to Cumberland Farms and I saw my buddy with a group of people hanging out outside of Mark Hopkins. I was gonna stop and talk to him but as soon as I got close the whole group of them started shuffling towards me. They were all groaning ‘braaaaaaains’ in unison. I thought it was just a joke so I started playing along until one of them bit me, like they actually bit me. After that I ran back to my room as fast as I could. I haven’t seen my friend since then, and I’ve been feeling really off since that night. I’ve been super hungry, like no matter what I eat or how much it’s never enough. I’m craving something, I just don’t know what.”

Investigations into the odd occurrences in and around Mark Hopkins are still underway. In the meantime, students are encouraged to take extra precautions when outside after nightfall. Travel with a buddy when possible, and avoid groups of students that may be hanging around Mark Hopkins. Students should also avoid touching any kind of colorful mold, especially purple mold, as it may be connected to zombie-like behavior.