Disclaimer: The Bacon is the April Fool’s Edition of The Beacon. The following story is purely for entertainment and is NOT meant to be taken as a serious news story!

It’s been long enough, we can’t keep it a secret any longer, the Bacon is and has been running the popular MCLA Confessions Instagram account.
If you thought there was really room for two separate news entities on this campus, think again.

As a news outlet, we need to stay updated on everything happening on campus so what better way to do so, than to have all of you come to us with what’s on your mind? Things can get boring just covering the normal events and stories, so we wanted more and have been very successful.

We know there haven’t been many posts in the past few weeks and it’s because we’ve been deciding if we should reveal ourselves or not. But we had to. To tell you, you guys have gotten way out of hand. We love the tea but sometimes, you need to keep it to yourselves.

Anyway, we know you won’t, so here’s what we’re going to do.

Now that our identity is revealed, we’ve decided half of our content will be investigative journalism into your problems on campus. Suspicious dorm activities, matchmaking, a full-time camera on Ponytail Man to reveal his mysteries, and even therapeutic help to those who have anger issues about snowmen.

Beacon and BWN staff will now be on call, ready with cameras to exploit whatever you feel needs to be addressed. Our mission is to make people aware of their own alleged rude and inconsiderate acts in dorms, common areas, parking lots, and more. We hear you and are ready to deliver.

We will be creating a new confession page for videos, TMZ style, that can also include anonymous interviews. However, we will be encouraging face-to-face confrontation to help some of you learn how to speak up for yourselves whether that be about roommates, crushes or simply small conflicts that could be solved.

While exposing what needs to be exposed, we are doing so in a way to promote a better campus. Better communication skills and more self-awareness can lead to a much better living environment for people to be in. In the real world, there will be no way to anonymously shoot your shot. You will have to fend for yourself. We are here to encourage healthy communication and still wish to keep things light and funny.

We will add a number for us in our Instagram bio where you can call us with your exact location and the issue for us to help, set up an interview, and you will still be able to send in things anonymously.

That being said, we also are in charge of the squirrels. They are spies and you should be worried because we see everything. You can get so close to them because we allow it. Big Brother Bacon is always watching and now you know.

Disclaimer #2: The Beacon respects the MCLA Confessions page and does not know their true identity. They are doing hard work keeping up with all the crazy things submitted and we applaud them as the other news outlet on campus.