*BACON* CSI to be Donated to the Communications Department

Jillian Currier, Co-Editor-in-Chief

Disclaimer: The Bacon is the April Fool’s Edition of The Beacon. The following story is purely for entertainment and is NOT meant to be taken as a serious news story!

After many months of back-and-forth discourse between the Communications Department and every STEM-related department, the two sides have finally come to a decision. The recently built, brand new Feigenbaum Center for Science and Innovation has been donated to the Communications department.

Built in 2013, the building had been planned to be used for all things STEM-related at MCLA — that being science, technology, engineering, and math. But after a strange twist of fate, and a long period of COVID, the building’s owners are now being switched.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Professor Michael Birch said in an interview with The Bacon, “After dealing with Mold Hopkins for so long, and then being kicked out of the building entirely, it’ll be nice to have a fresh start somewhere new.”

Previously, the English and Communications departments were housed in Mark Hopkins — dubbed “Mold Hopkins” by many across campus after the building was evacuated of all classes due to mold in the building. This included the offices for both department’s professors, as well as The Bacon production room, and other classrooms.

Because of this, the professors were put in a new building at 60 Porter St, but the close quarters were something some of the professors weren’t used to.
“It may have been mold-infested, but at least I had some breathing room over there,” Birch said. Their new building is just two stories and has very small office spaces for the professors.

The Bacon students were also forced to move out and were temporarily put in a lab space in CSI — which marked the beginning of the fight for the building. The computers with all of the editing and layout programs were moved into the space, along with the printers, and the beloved candy bowl.

Students latched onto the open floor plan and made the room their own within a few days. Papers were taped onto the glass walls for passing students and faculty to read, benches were overtaken with drafts of each page, and candy bowls started to multiply across the room.

“I snuck in a few times to admire the space, I admit. Plus, they had so much candy in there, it was like a gold mine!” Birch said about the space. “After seeing how happy the journalism students were — and you know how miserable journalism students can be — I knew we had to do something to move over there.”

Birch started campaigning to the STEM professors about potentially switching buildings shortly after. He used the Bacon office as evidence, stating he’d never seen communications students so happy next to a Bunsen Burner before.

The STEM professors admitted that they had a little too much space in the building and could use some change, and to everyone’s surprise handed over the building easily.

Because both sides knew this decision would never be approved by the school itself, they opted to keep it a secret until now.

“Yeah, we actually dug tunnels underground so that we wouldn’t get caught by the school. The Bacon office in the library everyone talks about now? That’s just the secret entrance to the connecting tunnel. It worked surprisingly well!” Birch said about the move.